I guess bargaining never ends. Has it ended for me -NO.
Does life continue-YES.
The biggest question I ask myself . Am I depressed ? Was I ever depressed?
I was dealing with 3 dimensions of the same spectrum
img_2227Loss … the three dimensions being…
Death, end of some key relationships and financial loss.
It was like the universe was knocking on my door and telling me , girl learn from all these challenges. Whether grief or depression, I knew I had to continue. I had a Herculean task ahead of me. I took upon myself not be be challenged by the challenges and hence stepped in to second phase of my spiritual journey. I truly becam a seeker. Depressed I was, weighed down by it – no.
I made a conscious effort to seek a lesson in every challenge and in every lesson I sought for an answer . All this erosion was happening at a very molecular level.
I stubbornly refused accept the loss of my mother , my acrimonious relationship with my spouse and end of my relationship with my sibling (who I still dear love). I became an ostrich. So when it suited me , I dug my head into the ground and refused to accept. Which was most of the time.
It was this phase in life I peeled my self like an onion and delved into the process of self learning . From EFT to chanting , acess consciousness to chakra healing , angel therapy to numerology , I started reading voraciously and learning along the way.
This stage of depression was short however the lessons were deep.
This gave me peace , helped me connect to myself and my higher powers. Hence began my love affair with myself -first time in 40 years .

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