Journey within a journey. DENIAL, ANGER ( with an element of blame ) …..then slides in “bargaining “.
In today’s world everything is available on the World Wide Web. Be it a recipe or finding means to cope with grief or stresses of life.
Hence began a simultaneous journey in my little parallel world of inner quest . Lesson learnt , no guarantee that everybody feels the same. Yes we all go through a complete cycle of emotions but the intensity varies , the time frame varies and the ache varies.
I Bargained with myself. I bargained not to feel the grief as I had to carry on with my life and balance it.
I bargained with my soul and the universe for all the challenges … that came in each day from all aspects of living the life of a human being .
I bargained with the feeling of grief itself.
I put it aside. Brushed it under the carpet as they say. Why I did… still a mystery but I let it be for so many months that I forgot she was not there. Everyday unconsciously I would go through my missed calls and messages to see if there was a call from her. It was like waiting for a miracle to happen. I bargained with my higher powers for “A MIRACLE”- at a very very subconscious level.
Where it led to even I am discovering . The path is unwinding as I write and share .
Happiness and peace
Ava